Recently, I’ve learned that there are chapters in life.  The really long ones, like raising kids until they are 18, sometimes seem like forever, but really it’s not.  Having a career is another really long one, but one day, if we are lucky enough to have a long life, there is a next chapter.

“As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing people off is a piece of cake.” That was an opening line of the assisted living community’s talent show resident comedian.  The audience was filled with 200 residents creating a sea of smiles and gray hair. In the comedian’s first chapter, he was the inventor of the pacemaker battery. His jokes continued. “What inspires me to get up in the morning is…my bladder mostly.”

My 85-year-old dad struggles with remembering.  I see him being hard on himself for forgetting important things.  There is some anxiety about it too. In a moment of tenderness, he said to my mom, “You know what’s one of the things you say that I appreciate most?”  She didn’t. “That’s okay.”

She says ‘that’s okay’ when he can’t remember something. She says it with grace and ease and helps him to feel that it’s no big deal. It feels like gentleness and peace and a deep relieving breath.

My mom leads a ukulele group at the “abundant life center.” In this chapter, her expectations are different.  They are there to have fun as the primary goal, and she knows many will forget what song they are working on or some of the words and may not practice much.  That’s okay.

The 9 “Ukers,” as they affectionately call themselves, also performed for the talent show.  They played “How Much is that Doggie in the Window.” There were large-print sing-along words on the screen and they wore dog ears and noses and tails.

I think I have a fear of memory loss. I value accuracy and clarity. But I am learning that this can change for my next chapter if it needs to.  I like hearing about the levity and humor.

Jack Altman says that we all want purpose, community, & growth. I am really clear about what that looks like in the workplace and in my life in my 5th decade. But now I am paying attention and learning what it could look like later.  I appreciate their willingness to model for me what it looks like to keep these 3 things alive. Thanks mom & dad.